Black People, Babies, And Breakups

Black People, Babies, And Breakups

By Chance Kelsey,

 Chance: I have taken notice of a trend among blacks in America and blacks living in other countries, and that is, why is it that when a black woman or girl have a baby with a black male the relationship breaks up (end)? I have seen this all my life; it makes you wonder if blacks are a racial group that repopulates themselves out of sexual promiscuity. Based upon all rational observations it is definitely true that in America, Caribbean, many parts of Africa, Canada, South and Central America, and Europe where blacks live you will find this to be a reality. Cultures can’t explain all of this because blacks living in various parts of the world have different cultures – yet all black populations have this characteristic of relationships breakup after a baby is born.

Whether blacks are educated, uneducated, employed, unemployed, ghetto poor, middle class, or rich you clearly can see that this is a problem among theme regardless of economic status. Teenage black girls have this same situation when the baby is born the boyfriend often does nothing for the baby he leaves and goes to another. It is very normal to say to ones self that if the two blacks are not married when the child is born there will be a breakup. Now some don’t breakup they stay together, and you have some who breakup but the father and mother still cooperate with each other for the babies best interest (father provides for the baby). Most of all it is really not about being married what matters more is whether or not the child will be taken care of. There are some wonderful dads who take care of their children even though they are not with the mothers of their children. This I say counts more than marriage if the kids are already born.    

Reasons Why Black Men Leave When A baby Is Born  

1. Sub culture that continues to socially institutionalize this out of wedlock and don’t take of the kid behavior among black men. 
2. Father and Mother not getting along.
3. Lack of money.
4. He was just with her for sex and the baby was just a byproduct of that situation.
5. Mother and Father were just with each other for sex only, and baby was just natural result even though they did not plan to have a child.
6. Black males don’t in general trust black females because they have noticed — that too many of them are sexually promiscuous, just like many black men are sexually promiscuous.
7. Genetic – blacks produce more testosterone than any other ethnic group, and the more testosterone you produce the more you sexually active you want to be. Even if you don’t act upon the urge to go have sex you still have the feelings.
8. Too many black woman and men have disagreeable attitudes and negative dispositions so, they date each other but don’t feel like getting married because then they will have to deal with each others negative attitudes.
9. A baby is like a marriage and many black men don’t want to be attached to the black woman they have a out of wedlock kid with — because the kid is like a binding cord that says you must deal with the mother also even if you don’t want to.      
10. Too many black women are sexually easy to have sex with and they put no demands on the black man. So black men don’t feel pressure that would turn into obligations to respect black women and take care of the children.
11. Black men just enjoy their freedom of not be obligated to a female. No commitment, no responsibility, no marriage, no financial obligation to take care of the black woman, etc many black men enjoy this type of freedom. 

Black men and black women please work together to provide for your children even if you all are not together in relationship. Think about the best interest of the kids. Even if you don’t like each other at least cooperate good enough to provide for the kid. A child needs the love and attention of mother and father.    
By Chance (Chancellor)
Written during the 21st centruy by Chance Kelsey

  1. This is a interesting observation Chance because I have noticed this myself. Many black women think that sex will lead to marriage or some form of a relationship. This is false because what most black women need to realize is that the black man can have sex with her for years and not even think of marriage or a true relationship. Many times the black female is nothing more to him than a “booty call”. The black male will start to look at her as easy and too available and lose respect for her. He may display his true feeling by being promiscuous often verbal abuse may follow. Later it is not uncommon for him to turn to a white female or mulatto woman for comfort. I had a white man ask me just yesterday how can he get a black woman? My answer to him was go out and buy her a dress in other words it does not take much.

  2. chance

    @ Lois,

    Lois it is sad but what you have said is true, many black women are too sexually easy and promiscuous and this lowers their worth in the eyes of black men. Many black men fear marring black women because they have seen too many of them being sexually easy, promiscuous, and unfaithful in relationships. I will admit too that material possessions are one of the best tactics to use on a black woman many black men use this tactic also. Black men are very aware of the materialism of black women and black men say that black women are too materialistic. So a white man or man from any other ethnic group can use the same techniques. Black woman lower their own status.

    Lois thanks for your deep insights.

  3. Elle

    Actually I highly resent the sexual double standard implicit in your piece and the responses. If a man has a lot of sex he’s promiscuous and if a woman does it she’s too easy? It takes two to tango. This is the 21st century and therefore a woman can go out and have as many sexual partners as she chooses. I don’t plan to ever get married because I’m not the monogamous type.

  4. To Elle

    Elle, your comment just proved that every word in Chance’s piece about black women is correct.

  5. To Elle

    Elle, your comment proves that every word in Chance’s piece regarding black women is correct.

  6. Elle

    What gives? There is a double standard is there not?

  7. Chance (@ Elle)

    @ Elle,

    Black men are not perfect either, and have their flaws too.

  8. Elle

    Chance you are so refreshing you don’t even know. This is like my favorite little webspot now. But people like that anonymous coward are why I don’t even hang out with black people anymore.

  9. Chance

    @ Elle,

    Chance you are so refreshing you don’t even know. This is like my favorite little webspot now. But people like that anonymous coward are why I don’t even hang out with black people anymore.

    My response: The anonymous person may not even be black (he or she could be black), it could be a male or female from another race. Sometimes people come by blogs and websites and pretend to be black, white, Asian, latino, male, female, etc but they really are from another ethnic group. This happens all the time. I have had this happen at this website/blog few times. There are commenters who claim to be one thing when I know they are not who they claim to be, but it is what they are saying that matters more to me than what ethnic group, male or female they are claiming to be. I have had people come to my blog and use different names but even though I know who it is I don’t say anything, i pretend I don’t know it is them.

    Then there are commenters who I have never met on other blogs and websites who come here and use various user names, and I don’t expose them.

    It is the content of their comments that matters more. There are trolls on the Internet, sometimes trolls are good, as long as they behave. Anyone of us can be accused of being a troll if the blog owner get a little upset with us, and one may not be a troll. But yes, there are trouble makers on the Internet just like in real life. I appreciate commenters who participate in discussions.

    I appreciate that you find this site very refreshing, thank you.

  10. Elle

    well keep it up! 🙂

  11. Well

    As a black man happily married to a black woman going on seven years now . I have to say this is nothing more than a sterotype .Black people are not the only race who have kids and dont stay together. Its all about the person and making smart choices . A lot of black women do not demand marriage before having a child with someone but white reltionships are not so perfect either. For the most Ive seen white women will put up with cheating and getting beat up more than a black woman making them the weakest link if you ask me.Coming from a educated black men who loves black women because my mother ,grandmother and sisters are just that. To me thiers nothing better that a pretty educated sista who have the same history as me.

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